Fear of weapons but tempted by the site

It is the dry season in Uganda and you really feel the heat. I also got a terrible cold today that may be an allergic reaction to all the dogs and cats. There are currently three dogs and four cats in the neighborhood.  I put the cold aside and headed off to the office to continue looking at the documents entailing the operational policies of ADRA. Barely anyone has been able to go out on field work due to the election time. However the elections turned out to be quite peaceful and only 11 out of 113 districts were violent. Now things have settled down again. I have been in the ADRA compound for two weeks and I feel the restlessness and longing not only to see what is written in paper but to see the implementation work itself. As usual when I lean back and relax thinking that everything is mellow, then comes all the suggestions I had been awaiting for. I was offered to follow on a field work mission in western Uganda tomorrow morning and come back the following day. I was really excited about that and I eagerly accepted.

 Siri and Thores cook Rebecca had got severe malaria and has been in the hospital, she got back last night. She is feeling better but is still very weary and tired, so today the whole family and I decided to eat in the ADRA canteen. I have made a few attempts of eating there previously in order to socialize with the other workers. However the food is really not to my liking. The first day eating mashed bananas, beans and peanut sauce with little flavoring was doable. Getting the exact same food the following day made me question if they eat this every day? Apparently they do. The third day I asked Thore if I can eat lunch at their place from now on. I sometimes will go to the canteen in order to establish connections and engage in conversations but not every day. Today it was the same dishes served in the canteen as previously, however they had added fish in the peanut sauce. I quite enjoyed it compared to Elin and Robin. Later on I spoke to Thore about Karamoja and my insurance.

Karamojo is an area in northern Uganda where the people are considered to be very uncivilized. One could of course question the term uncivilized. They live very basic and are cattle owners. They do have disagreements over the cattle that at times end in blod shed. They used to despise intellectuality and buried any book they possessed. However now they have dug up the books again. ADRA are trying to help them get adult literacy education and sustain their livelihood on agriculture than just cattle due to the violence that arises with the cattle. However living on cattle is still a very big part of the traditional community. Thore said that only a few NGOs are registered there. However they do not operate in that field due to the extremity of being there. Thore has asked me before if I have an insurance that covers a helicopter ride back to Europe if necessary. I was thinking it was a bit over the top and I knew my Dutch insurance policy did not cover this expense. Then he said he is going there this Sunday for two days and if I wish to follow it is on my own risk. He continued saying that it is very extreme area and life there is very basic. I questioned what is so bad that I would need a helicopter ride in case of emergency. Then he said that the raiders living there are dangerous and have weapons which they do not mind using them. They kill for cattle and any reason that might come in their way.  Killing somone for them does not mean much, and if an ambush of the raiders occurs it can get very dangerous. I consider myself quite daring. I have jumped from a plane, from a bridge and travelled alone (which actually are quite safe activities). However this is quite a different type of danger. It is deliberately putting oneself in a dangerous situation where weapons are involved. I felt a sense of uncertainty arise in me but at the same time I was intrigued as well. I know that this would be beneficial for my research but moreover for me as a person. Thore told me, you can think about it but speak to Booker of what can happen there since he has been there a lot.  I listened to Thores advice and went to speak to Booker. Booker is the one who fetched me from the airport. I did not ask him what had happened in Karamojo but I asked if it is dangerous. He had a smile on his face and said, I like the basic way of living and in Karamojo it is a reverse lifestyle than what we are used to. I once again asked him if there are guns there and if it is dangerous? Apparently direct questions don’t work well with Booker and he replied differently than to the question asked, nevertheless he still gave the answer I was looking for. He said if there is a time to go, then there is a time to go. It does not matter where you are.  If death comes it does and you can not avoid it. I think you should go it would be good for you. Enjoy yourself he said with a big smile and small giggle.
I have decided to go.
This is those type of situations that if it goes bad, it can go really bad and if it nothing happens you question why you were concerned. It can go both ways, but I do pray and hope for the latter one.

Dog barks and election,

Woke up once again at 2:30 am by the barking of the next door dog named lucky, could not hold my irritation anymore and needed to speak my mind. My complaint was confronted with laughter by the owner. I also ended up agreeing to be the dog watch of Lucky (the dogs name) this weekend. I love animals and wherever I go I end up finding at least one animal to feed and care upon. Whether it is stray dogs in Sri Lanka, or cows in India, or cats and goats in Indonesia. So not to my surprise the dog now went from becoming an irritation to becoming my new found pet. When he sees me he either tries to hump me or lick me all over. Well, well, the complaint did not work as expected in Africa, and the barking continues. I often get a lack of sleep but I have still never felt this rested in my whole life. It is hard to explain other than saying that something is happening within my mind and soul after just one week. I feel more awake and take great pleasure in waking up early in the mornings (Which for those who know me is never the case otherwise). I start of the day at seven, have a cold shower since my hot water does not work and then go to the office. The daily devotions held in the mornings are so inspiring. Imagine starting of the morning with a discussion about life and God. Heavy stuff you might think, but it is liberating and edifying. Today we spoke of heavy burdens and loads in life and how it is a joy to place it in God’s hands and start the morning with a fresh start and bright mind set. Whatever one’s view might be about religion it is nevertheless a comforting way of starting the day.

Today at work, five staff members were missing. One of the staff members mother had died and the others joined as emotional support. Siri told me that there are constantly funerals here and that so many join, even though they did not know the deceased. But one person’s mama here is also considered to be another ones mama. In Europe this would never be accepted. What can one do other than smile about it?

Most members of ADRA are Adventist. The reason for my master research does not only lie in an exploring an interesting topic of how an Adventist faith based organization operates but also for personal curiosity on how Adventist view and live life in practice. I have had some preset notions that when I arrive here I will be drawn into a bunch of must and don’ts. However lately I have wished upon having a change which goes against my own routine based life style. In Europe my mindset and conversations with friends are concerning what the next achievement will be, the next prosperity, the next travel and maybe the next relationship if the current one is not in our appreciation. All topics have been in adherence with an individualistic mindset constantly promoting the next step of what is aspired in life. Lately I just wanted to get away from the next step and stay still for a while. Standing still for me just means acknowledging the present and taking it into heart and mind. I have realized that when I travel abroad I am much better at paying more attention to the present. Something I realized is that the Adventist people I have encountered here so far also adhere more to the present than the next step. They recognize that they might never know if the next step ever comes. This is not only due to living conditions but because they have a different interpretation of the content of life. In Uganda standing still has become an everyday reality and I love that feeling. Today we had an open fire and Siri brought out the guitar and sang. I lay down on the grass and looked up at orions belt. I asked myself, when was the last time I just took a moment to look up at the stars without heading somewhere else?

                             My days are currently filled with going through the policy reports of ADRA. The staff members are still a bit suspicious about my intent of being here and see me as a journalist. They have questioned Thore of my presence and have asked for a draft of what I will be writing about. Reputation is of high value to the ADRA organization and I did expect something like this would arise. However a few have opened up. Though not as I expected. I had a long conversation with the secretary Sarah. We spent a few minutes on my research questions and the following hour was devoted to speaking about her child who died last year at the age of two. He had a lever failure but was admitted to a neurosurgeon, who was the wrong person for the wrong task. Furthermore she did not have enough of money for a transplant. She said that when he passed away she did not shed a tear but got strength from God to make it through the pain. She wanted me to read the detailed report of her son’s death and explain why it happened. I read through the letter and it was truly heart breaking. I sent her a comforting letter but had no answer to her question. It surprises me how much easier it is to get to the heart of these people but not to the surface. They trust me with their life stories but not with their working circumstances. I can not say I have a problem with it, but it is just different. I do think that when I am able to go on field missions with some of the development workers, a trust will be established. I was hoping to go on missions this week, but due to the elections we are not able to go anywhere.

This Friday the elections in Uganda will be held, and everybody is concerned of the riots and gang violence that might break out. They say, “This is Africa, there is always bloodshed here” Three women just outside our flat were almost strangled. Even though the people are very concerned about the growing tension here, I on the other hand am not that concerned. I was in Sri Lanka during election time, and there too people were scared that riots might break out. However it never really did. This might be influencing my calm composer when facing the elections, or maybe it is just merely the fact that it is not Friday yet. Whatever happens, it happens. Moreover, 50 members from the police force will be occupying the ADRA compound. This might be a comforting announcement but, it is not. The police gave ADRA no choice. They just said they will be here, and stay in a big tent during the election. The reason for this is that the ADRA compound is on top of a hill and has an overview of the city. In case something would happen the police believe they can act fast due to the location. However this makes ADRA the target. If riots break out and the gangs are displeased with the elected government they do not necessarily flee the police. Instead they can strike against them since they are the armor of the government. But, like I said, we will see… it is not Friday yet.

               Elin, Robin, Purity and Joseph

Maybe a mamba, maybe white?

Today was my first day at ADRA. ADRA (Adventist development relief agency) which is an NGO based on an Adventist framework. The mornings at ADRA start off with a discussion and prayer hour and then proceed to work. Since my research is about seeing the collaboration between the religion and development I thought it will come quite handy to do some interviews. I had got freedom from Thore to walk around and observe and ask what I wished. However this was easier said than done. I started off by interviewing some staff members of their position, and how the religion influences them and their work. I most often got limited answers and they were quite reserved. Currently I just have these two concepts in my mind, religion and development aid. However I have no idea how they collaborate in ADRA or how their organizational culture is. I was hoping I would find this out, but I get this sense of feeling from them that they wish I could give them an answer of what I want to know before they tell me. I don’t blame them but it makes my work a bit harder.  I found out this interaction is also a cultural thing. Ugandans are very polite, a bit reserved and respectful.  Siri told me the first week she was her, she got acclimatized by asking about their families before asking about their work. Funny, for me from the west it is the other way around. We first speak about work before going into family details. Ok. New approach tomorrow, I will formulate questions they can not avoid answering and I will take it easy, step by step so they can gradually build up some trust in me.

After a very short working day I met my neighbor named Purity. We had a very nice chat and decided to head in to town do some grocery shopping. On the way there we were encountered with a green snake, most likely the green mamba. She ran the other way and I followed. Some of ADRAs workers came running and killed the snake. One of the staff members son had died a few weeks ago by the same type of snake. He showed me pictures of his son, he was only 21 when he passed away. There is a different understanding to death here. Back home we sometimes live as if we were immortal, but here death is recognized and accepted as an everyday reality.

Today I took a boda boda in town and more rides are coming. It is motorcycle taxis. They drive like crazy and have no helmet for the passengers, but it is a whole lot of fun to go on them. Plus it is flexible. I got a good glimpse of Kampala. The sand on the sides of the road is red brown, people everywhere. Small little market stalls covered on each side of the road. The inner city of Kampala was very very busy with traffic and people.  Afterwards I wanted to see the market area close to our residence. It was completely different. I was pleased to feel like I was in ”real” Africa, but at the same time really sad of what I saw. The roads were very uneven, there were very poorly built market stalls everywhere. People were wearing haggy clothes and children were running around poorly dressed and their navel was sticking out like a bone. Apparently the reason for this mainly lies in that children carry very heavy things at a young age so the bone pokes out. Flies were constantly in the air, due to the lack of hygiene. The food they were selling in the market was however nice and cheap products that provide them with some kind of income. Many people here do not even have that. When we later arrived home Purity and I hang out a bit more, she was telling me her story. She is originally from Kenya, but married to a Ugandan husband. We were talking about culture differences. She told me most Africans look up to white people and so did she as a child but now she realized that they are nothing special ; ) When I got out of the taxi bus earlier today somebody said; “now the white people are coming” and referring to me. Ha..ha. I have never considered myself in the category of white, or Mombaza as they are called here.

                             When I got back to my flat I cleaned and washed my clothes the old school way, everything by hand.  Then I headed to have dinner with Siri, Thore and the rest. The electricity went out once again, and the internet connection as well. The electricity and internet go on and off constantly, but the alternative is not so bad, which is simply accepting the situation for what it is. Plus a bunch of candle lights can create a very nice atmosphere.  Siri and Thore often have local people over for lunch or dinner. Every one of them with an interesting story to share, many of the stories told give a glimpse of what true hardship means and makes me realize that my everyday life is a fairy tale compared to these people, yet I often neglect giving myself time to appreciate little things I have and often redirect my focus on trivial matters. I do not wish to say that having a hardening or accepting mentality can be all good, since it can go to the extent that you stop listening to your own conscience. However at times it can serve as a tool for living life with a greater gratitude and stronger mindset.

                                          Boda Boda

                                          Kampala inner city

                                          The market area

                                          The market area

                                          Purity

Arrival

It is the fourth of february a friday morning, heading to the airport to take the flight to Uganda. The train ride goes smoothly, the airport floors are shiny. Everyone is heading somewhere else. The queue to the baggage drop is not as sufficient as expected, feel the irritation running through my blood stream, and by looking at the facial expressions of others in line apparently this sentiment is shared by many. Why is it taking such a time to check in, sure I have two hours to check in, but that is not the point. This is Europe, we need and expect things to be done and fixed fast. My impatience and the expectations I have get the better of me at times. Why am I so different when I am abroad? I wish I could sometimes place my travel mentality when I am in Europe, but hey maybe that is the reason I constantly urge to go abroad. Just like myself more when I let go of expectations. Finally headed to another line and get checked in, on the flight and then arrive in Uganda. The airport in Entebbe is not crowded, the floors are not shiny. Get to the Visa check in, already had a visa fixed for six months but apparently that does not mean much. If the person behind the desk is in a bad mood he gives you a stamp for one month and the money you spent getting a longer visa is tossed down the drain. I was met up by Boca and his two daughters, standing with a sign with my name on it. They are my ride to ADRAs head quarters in Kampala. It is 8 pm, it is around 25 degrees and for me the weather is perfect, Boca however finds it a bit chilly. We have a 1 hour drive ahead of us. Boca and I instantly connect, and I find myself sharing topics with him I only tell people I have known for a while, if even that. It was such a nice talk, and I thought to myself if I am instantly struck with such a nice encounter so soon, how much more will these four months give me? We are driving in quite a speed, and the traffic here abides by its own rules. I am the only dork in the car wearing a seat belt. But hey better safe than sorry, right? Eventually drive up to the headquarters of ADRA. The security guard who was wearing what looks like a winter jacket, (can not help smiling within) let us in. Meet Thore and Siri who are the current directors of ADRA. Robin the youngest son was asleep on the couch. I also met Robins home schooling teacher, a young girl named Elin. I had a small chat with them before heading for bed. I was glad to see them be so pleased with the chocolates and cheese I got them, since it is almost impossible to get it in Uganda. Thereafter I head to my little guest room in the guest house outside. It is perfect for me and has all I need, a desk, a bed, and an own bathroom.  It feels so tranquil, and the house is overlooking the Victoria Lake. A branch had hit the internet wire and the electricity was out during the day. The electricity was now back but not the internet, so I do not know yet how frequently I can keep myself updated. Like Siri said about the situation, this is Africa, welcome. Feel no sense of irritation through my blood stream, have no sense of expectation or impatience. I am just pleased with a sense of adaptation and acceptance.  An already changing mindset questioning, why do I need to go to the other end of the world to realize the meaning of what matters and more importantly what does not matter that much?  

Weekend

I was woken to a bright sun light and warm weather. Ohh heat, how I have missed it! Then I headed to have an amazing breakfast with fresh fruits and juices. Thereafter we all headed to church. The sermon was interesting but it was way too long. He just talked and talked. Should have told him that the brain only has a certain amount of storage space and beyond a limit you just stop listening. Furthermore at times he really screamed. It might have been a waking call, just in case anybody fell asleep, which some people did. But In all fairness the overall message the pastor tried to convey was nice.  When we left church we were stuck in one of Uganda’s amazing car traffic lines, nothing moves and there is no reason for why.  You just simply have to force yourself on the road again. In the evening we headed to the botanical garden in Entebbe, where the first Tarzan movie was filmed. The trees were amazing and massive.  We just got lost in them and of course could not help myself but had to hang from a liana just like Tarzan does. However I was quite bad at it. Then we saw some kids who had taken a giant palm branch and headed down a hill in such a speed. We asked if we could try, so Elin, Robin and I gave it a try. It was a lot of fun. Kids can really be creative and have fun with anything they find. However I suppose the part the kids laughed at the most was us making a worst attempt than theirs of sliding down the hill. It is settled, when I have kids I am not going to spoil them with technological and high gadget stuff but hand them a branch and say, be a kid, be creative and imaginative!    

Weekend is soon over and the internet connection is back. The ADRA work begins on Monday. What a relaxed nice weekend it has been. Now sitting by the pool and having a fresh passion juice. However I am looking forward to Monday and being on the field. Thore asked me if my insurance coverage also includes an emergency flight ride home in case something would occur. Apparently they also work in remote areas with heavily affected people and almost no one goes to those areas, not even the registered NGOs, so you never know what can happen there. Do not know what to expect but I gladly take upon the offer to join and see what actually goes on there. Will be interesting to see how the development work is being performed and also how it is being perceived by the locals.